i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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