dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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