You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
