Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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