So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
