I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
