Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
