he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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