I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
She's the barista slut.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
