ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Randomize
