She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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