i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
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