Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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