worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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