your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
