; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
