why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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