just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
