You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Damn victory sex feels great
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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