Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
