I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
