Don't you send me to vm
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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