He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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