This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
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