i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
