like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
