Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
