I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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