I want you more than these girls want KFC
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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