Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
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