Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
