Sponge bath it is.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
