i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
