Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
