I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Randomize
