Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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