just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
