I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
