I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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