don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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