Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
