hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
