What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
