Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I just want to make out with him forever
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
