i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
