its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
