Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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