just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
He did a backflip because drugs
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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