i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Your cock deserves a montage
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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