barbara walters just said penis...
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
