I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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