in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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