You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I have feelings that need drinking.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
