its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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