I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
